


Case Study: Wilbur Soot

by thismachinekillsstraightmen



Category: Dream SMP- fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Character Death, Swearing, mention of explosion, mention of stabbing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:20:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28939854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thismachinekillsstraightmen/pseuds/thismachinekillsstraightmen
Summary: In the days following his loss of the L’Manburg Presidential Election, Wilbur Soot was reported to have straining relationships with once-close family and friends, obsessively planning the revolution against and destruction of the country.On November 16, 2020, Wilbur was found dead shortly after setting off explosives that destroyed much of L’Manburg.This is a compilation of interviews and evidence taken in the case to solve this man’s murder.An AU set right after Wilbur dies in Season One. His killer is unknown, and Dream and George are investigating his death.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Everyone
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	1. Autopsy

**SUMMARY OF CLINICAL HISTORY:**

The patient was a 24 year old Caucasian male with no significant past medical history whose presence was alerted to the Dream SMP’s Emergency Medical Services (EMS) after being found unresponsive and critically wounded. Upon EMS arrival, the patient was hypoxic at 5 breaths per minute with oxygen saturation of 87%. At the scene, EMS administered breathing treatments and checked lung sounds that did not reveal any evidence of fluid in the lung fields. EMS also reports the patient was unresponsive upon their arrival at his residence. Five minutes after arrival at the L’Manburg Plaza at 1600, the patient became apneic and had oxygen saturations from 75-80%. The patient was pronounced dead at 1620 with no heart sounds, no pulse and no spontaneous respirations.

**DATE AND HOUR AUTOPSY PERFORMED:**

11/16/2020, 4:50 P.M. by BadBoyHalo.

Assistant: Skeppy.

_ Full Autopsy Performed _

  
  


**SUMMARY PRELIMINARY REPORT OF AUTOPSY**

Name: SOOT, Wilbur

Date of Birth: 14/9/1996

Race: White

Date of Death: 16/11/2020

Case #: 000001-16K-2020

Coroner’s Case #: 2020-321

Age: 24

Sex: Male

Body Identified By: Philza Minecraft, Father

Investigative Agency: Dream SMP Police Department

**EVIDENCE OF TREATMENT**

N/A

**EXTERNAL EXAMINATION**

The autopsy is begun at 4:50 P.M. on November 16, 2020. 

The body is clothed in a light gray button-down shirt, black pants, gray boots, and a dark beige coat. On the lower half of the shirt is a large bloodstain, and the material has multiple tears. The coat reveals a large bloodstain, and the pants reveal another smaller bloodstain, which appears to be the result of pooling blood and gravitational runoff. The pants and coat material have no tears.

The body is that of a normally developed, well nourished Caucasian male measuring 1.96 meters in length, weighing 82 kilograms, and appearing generally consistent with the stated age of 24 years.

The body is cold and unembalmed with slowly declining rigor. Pronounced unblanching lividity is present on the lateral posterior of the body in the regions of the heels, legs, back, arms and is pinkish in color. Purplish lividity is also present on the posterior of the neck.

The scalp is covered by short, brown hair, averaging 4-5 centimeters in length.

The skull is symmetric. The eyes are closed, and the natural eye color of the victim is brown. Pupils are symmetrically constricted.

The teeth are natural and well maintained. The anterior chest is of normal contour and is intact. 

The back is symmetrical and intact. The upper and lower extremities are symmetric, normally developed, and intact. The palms of the hands contain no incisions, signalling a lack of defensive wounds. The hands have traces of blood, matched to the victim.

There are no residual scars, markings, or tattoos.

**INTERNAL EXAMINATION**

HEAD--CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM: The brain weighs 1,336 grams and is within normal limits. The calvarium and base of the skull are normally configured and have no fractures. The dura is intact, and there is no epidural or subdural hemorrhage.

SKELETAL SYSTEM: The skeletal system is unremarkable and is within normal limits.

RESPIRATORY SYSTEM: The oral cavity shows no lesions. The mucosa is intact, and there are no injuries to the lips, teeth, or gums. There is no obstruction of the airway. The mucosa of the epiglottis, glottis, piriform sinuses, trachea and major bronchi are anatomic. No injuries are seen, and there are no mucosal lesions. The hyoid bone, the thyroid, and the cricoid cartilages are intact. The lungs weigh: right, 445 grams; left 446 grams. The lungs are unremarkable.

CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM: The heart weighs 256 grams, and has a normal size and configuration. No evidence of atherosclerosis or gross ischemic changes of recent or remote origin is present.

GASTROINTESTINAL SYSTEM: The mucosa and wall of the esophagus are intact and gray-pink, without lesions or injuries. The gastric mucosa is intact and pink with no injury. No stomach contents are found. The mucosa of the duodenum, jejunum, ileum, colon, and rectum are intact with no injury. The small intestine is ruptured and has multiple lacerations.

URINARY SYSTEM: The kidneys weigh: left, 129 grams; right, 127 grams. The kidneys are anatomic in size, shape, and location and are without lesions. The pelvicalyceal system is unremarkable.

TOXICOLOGY: Samples of central and peripheral blood, vitreous humor, gastric contents, urine, liver, and bile are submitted for toxicologic analysis.

SEROLOGY: A sample of right pleural blood is submitted in the EDTA tube. Routine toxicologic studies were ordered.

**DESCRIPTION OF INJURIES**

A stab wound on the abdomen in the umbilical region, approximately 5cm lateral to the navel. The wound is slit-like and measures 34 mm in length. The wound exits out of the lower back.

Opinion: This is a fatal injury.

Overall, the wound suggests a single-edged blade, although a double-edged blade cannot be excluded.

**TOXICOLOGY DRUG SCREENING RESULTS**

The victim tested negative for any sign of drug use.

**OPINION**

TIME OF DEATH: Body temperature and rigor and livor mortis approximate the time of death between 4:00 P.M. on November 16, 2020, and 4:30 P.M. on November 16, 2020.

IMMEDIATE CAUSE OF DEATH: Exsanguination due to stab wound (abdomen)

MANNER OF DEATH: Homicide

\--------

Dream SMP Police Department

November 16, 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are some of the medical terms i used;  
> oxygen saturation levels- a measure of the amount of oxygen in your blood. oxygen saturation levels between 95-100% are considered normal. anything under 95% is generally considered abnormal and dangerous. if saturation levels are under 80%, it may comprise organ functions.  
> hypoxic- hypoxia is an abnormally low amount of oxygen in the blood, usually from a lack of oxygen reaching the issue. a patient becomes hypoxic when their oxygen levels drop below 90%. to be hypoxic is to experience these low oxygen levels.  
> apneic- apnea is a medical condition in which people stop breathing for short periods of time while sleeping. to be apneic is to have this condition.  
> constricting pupils- your pupils become smaller (ie constrict) when you’re in a bright area to let in less light.  
> exsanguination- a severe loss of blood.  
> just gonna clarify; i am not a medical professional, nor am i studying medicine. i wrote this by modeling it after a fake autopsy i got for my high school law class.  
> i would love to make this fic interactive, so make sure to comment any questions you have from the autopsy that you’d like to see addressed in the fic!


	2. Initial Questioning

The following interviews were taken by Special Agent (SA) Dream W. Taken and Detective (Det.) George N. Found. SA Dream's main goal was to interview the gathered witnesses. Det. George’s main role was to record and transcribe the interviews, as well as administering oaths of truths to the interviewees.

The main goal of the initial questioning was to establish a timeline for the events leading up to Wilbur Soot’s murder, as well as collecting alibis from key witnesses.


	3. TommyInnit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Monday, November 16th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed L’Manburg Vice President (LVP) TommyInnit regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place in the Community House.
> 
> The following is a transcript of TommyInnit’s initial statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for clarification; i am not a law professional, nor am i studying law. i literally stole this criminal code from a random police interrogation video i found that took place in canada.

Dream: Okay, today is Monday, November the 16th, 2020. Time is 7:20 P.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N. Here with us to record and transcribe the interview is…

George: Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D.

Dream: Alright, and also here with us is TommyInnit. Can you spell your first name for us?

Tommy: I reckon you two know how to spell. And what’s with you both making the last part of your gamertags your last names? Am I supposed to pretend Innit is my last name too?

Dream: Tommy, please answer the question.

Tommy: And since when were you two Special Agent and Detective?

Dream: Tommy, do I have to remind you your brother is dead, and we need to get statements from everyone to find his murderer?

George: I’m sure he remembers, Dream.

Dream: Well, he’s not acting like it.

Tommy: Sorry.

Dream: Let’s do this again. Also here with us is TommyInnit. Can you spell your first name for us?

Tommy: T-O-M-M-Y.

Dream: And your last name?

Tommy: You’re not actually going to make me pretend- you know what, fine. I-N-N-I-T.

Dream: Do you have a middle name?

Tommy: No.

Dream: Okay, I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Tommy: I understand.

Dream: We are at the Community House in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence. Finally-

Tommy: Sorry, it’s just, what place is this criminal code based in? America or Britain?

Dream: George, what country is this criminal code from?

George: Uh, Canada.

Tommy: [Stifled Laughter]

Dream: [Whispered] Why would you take sections from a criminal code based in a country no one here is from?

George: [Whispered] I couldn’t find a transcript template, so I just found a random interview online and wrote down what the officer said!

Dream: You know what, we’ll just add it into our own laws later. [Normal Voice] Finally, you must understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so.

Tommy: Uh, thanks?

Dream: Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Tommy: Yeah, I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Tommy: I mean, not exactly. What are you going to do, put me in jail? Do we even have a jail?

Dream: [Whispered] George, do we have a jail?

George: [Whispered] Sam’s supposed to be on the server more often now, I’m sure you could get him to build one.

Dream: [Normal Voice] We’re in the process of making one. Making a false statement means you risk the possibility of being jailed in it once it is completed. Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Tommy: Yes…? Yes, I think I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the fact that this statement will be recorded and transcribed?  
Tommy: Yes, I do.

Dream: And do you choose then to give a statement?

Tommy: I choose to give a statement.

Dream: Alright, at this time I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

Tommy: The Canadian oath?

George: You know what, we’ll just make one up since you two keep on criticizing my policing skills. Do you, TommyInnit, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Tommy: You did not make that up right now.

Dream: You realize that if you don’t take the oath, you’ll literally be jailed immediately for obstructing justice?

Tommy: In what jail? And I’m taking it, calm down. I affirm that I’ll tell the truth.

George: Thank you.

Dream: Thank you, George. Alright Tommy, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder earlier today, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Tommy: [Stifled Laughter] You know what else 4:20 means, Dream?

Dream: [Sigh] Yes, Tommy, I know that 4:20 is also an allusion to marijuana.

Tommy: I know another word for that, too.

Dream: I don’t need to know it. What I would like you to do is just start from the beginning, explain the events that led up to the police being brought into this.

Tommy: I wouldn’t call you two the police, although you did try to shut us down in the summer for the drug van.

Dream: Tommy, please just describe the events of today.

Tommy: Sorry. Obviously, we had finished fighting the war against Manberg, and we were listening to Tubbo give a speech after he accepted the presidency.

Dream: Who’s we? Do you think you can identify everyone at the speech?

Tommy: I mean, I can try. There was me, Niki, Fundy, Quackity, Techno, Thunder, Bad and Skeppy, you, and Sapnap. Purpled was there too, I only remember that because he’s literally never here, so him being there was like a core memory.

Dream: Thank you for the elaborate alibi, I’m sure Purpled will appreciate it.

George: Please don’t be sarcastic during the interview, Dream.

Tommy: Special Agent just got checked by his boyfriend.

George: Please don’t be sarcastic during the interview, Tommy.

Tommy: Who said I was being sarcastic?

Dream: Do you remember if anyone else was there?

Tommy: Those are the only people I specifically remember, although I know there were more people.

Dream: Alright, go back to describing the events of the day. I stopped you at Tubbo making a speech after accepting the presidency.

Tommy: Well, as he was finishing up his speech he asked me to be Vice President. I accepted, and then that’s when it all started going downhill. Techno killed Tubbo, said he didn’t help plan the revolution just for us to put another government in place. So obviously, everything was chaos. And then you started taunting me and said Wilbur was the traitor, and I was like “What?” but like we all knew Wilbur was insane so everyone started searching for him, but obviously we didn’t search enough.

Dream: Why is that obvious?

Tommy: Dream, you were- you were there when Wilbur blew L’Manburg up, Dream. You literally told me he was the traitor and now you’re acting clueless about how he betrayed us.

Dream: I ask that you don’t elaborate in your interview. You explained that Wilbur blew L’Manburg up, what happened then?

Tommy: Tubbo found us after respawning, and then Techno set two Withers on us all. 

Dream: Who’s us?

Tommy: Honestly, just about everyone from the server, I feel like. Except Wilbur, obviously. We were so caught up in the fighting that none of us thought to- you know.

Dream: Again, please don’t elaborate.

George: [Whispered] Dream, his brother is dead, he’s going to have trouble talking about it.

Dream: [Whispered] We need the fucking statement, George. [Normal Voice] What did no one think to do?

Tommy: None of us thought to go track down Wilbur after he blew everything up. 

Dream: What happened after you finished fighting?

Tommy: Philza, my dad, he had arrived on the server while Wilbur blew everything up, and we were finally able to talk after that. I took him to the center pavilion, or at least what was left of it, to introduce him to everyone. We were trying to piece what had happened together, figure out where everyone was before L’Manburg exploded. Quackity said he was by the podium when Wilbur set off the TNT from the Button Room under it, so we went over to it to see what was left.

George: The Button Room?

Tommy: Wilbur planted a bunch of TNT around Manberg, and he set it up so he could blow it up from a room he made under the podium. He called it the Button Room.

Dream: What did you two see?

Tommy: I didn’t see anything at first, since Quackity was ahead of me, but he looked inside the button room and gasped. I tried to lean forward and see, but he turned around and put his arms out in front of me, told me not to come forward.

Dream: Then what?

Tommy: I- I didn’t listen to him. I looked over his shoulder, and I saw-

Dream: You saw what, Tommy?

George: Give him time, Dream.

Tommy: I- I didn’t see his face, but I saw Wilbur’s coat, and I could tell that it looked like he had fallen to the floor. I didn’t- I didn’t recognize the coat for a second, it was-

Dream: It was what?

Tommy: It was red, instead of the brownish color it was before. I tried to look a little further up ahead, but Quackity just turned me around and led me away. I had still managed to have connected the dots at that point, though.

Dream: What did you do after you realized you saw Wilbur’s body?

George: Slow down with the questions, Dream.

Dream: How slow do you expect me to go? We might have to interview the whole fucking server.

Tommy: Why the hell did you choose to interview me, then? Why didn’t you interview the people who would’ve been quicker? Wanted me to relive the trauma of realizing I was walking away from my brother’s dead body only hours after it happened?  
Dream: Yes! We need to know what happened, Tommy, and you’re part of that process! What did you do after you realized you saw Wilbur’s body?

Tommy: You know what? No. I won’t answer. I’m done answering questions. My brother is fucking dead, and you expect me to just sit here and answer all your questions so you can play cobs and robbers? No. I’m done.

[Tommy walks away, leaving the Community House.]

Dream: Well, I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found, and our initial questioning of Tommy Innit has just ended. The time is approximately 7:52 P.M.

George: You realize you won’t get anywhere if you keep on being too harsh, right? Especially on Tommy, he saw a dead body, his _brother’s_ dead body. If you want to get another interview with him, you have to be calmer.

Dream: If we want to figure out what happened to Wilbur, we- fine. I’ll be nicer if it means it’s easier to get information.

George: Why are you bothering with this, anyway? Wilbur blew up L’Manburg like you wanted. What do you want with solving his murder?

Dream: We’ve got new people joining the server, I don’t imagine an unsolved murder being exactly welcoming news.

George: [Sigh] Fair enough. Here, I’m going to go back to my house to transcribe everything. You go find who you want to interview next and bring them there.

Dream: Alright, see you then.

George: See you.

[George and Dream leave the Community house, respectively leaving for George's house and the remains of L’Manburg.]

George: Wait, did I not stop recording? Shit-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any questions from tommy's initial statement that you want to see be asked later? drop them in the comments!


	4. Tubbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Monday, November 16th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed L’Manburg President (LP) Tubbo regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place at George’s house.
> 
> The following is a transcript of Tubbo’s initial statement.

Dream: Okay, today is Monday, November the 16th, 2020. Time is 8:32 P.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N, here to interview our witness.

George: I am Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D, here to record and transcribe the interview.

Dream: Here to be interviewed is Tubbo. Can you spell your first name for us?

Tubbo: T-U-B-B-O.

Dream: And can you spell your last name?

Tubbo: You want me to spell out an underscore?

George: Uh, yes?

Tubbo: But when you’re transcribing it, won’t it look like my last name is actually Underscore?

Dream: If we answer that, we run the risk of looking stupid. Please just answer.

Tubbo: Uh, okay? U-N-D-E-R-S-C-O-R-E.

Dream: And do you have a middle name?

Tubbo: No.

Dream: I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Tubbo: I understand the recording, I don’t understand the formality of this.

Dream: We just want to make sure that everything is communicated as clearly as possible.

Tubbo: Alright, then.

Dream: We are at George’s house in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the- [Whispered] we forgot to incorporate the sections into our laws, didn’t we George.

George: [Whispered] Yeah.

Dream: You know what, we’ll just roll with it. [Normal Voice] You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 150 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence.

Tubbo: When did you make all of these laws?

Dream: Right now.

Tubbo: Oh? Good for you, I reckon.

Dream: Finally, you must understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so. Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Tubbo: Yes, I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Tubbo: Am I going to be killed on stage again?

Dream: I- no, you’ll just be imprisoned when we finish making our jail.

Tubbo: When did you start making a jail?

Dream: Well, I wouldn’t say we started making a jail, we just started making the plans for one.

Tubbo: That’s a shoddy justice system, wouldn’t you think?

Dream: We’ve never had to investigate a murder, alright? We’ll get there soon.

George: Don’t get irritated, Dream.

Dream: [Whispered] He’s trying to get on my nerves.

George: [Whispered] He’s literally 16 years old, I think you can give him a break.

Dream: [Normal Voice] Now, Making a false statement means you risk the possibility of being jailed in it once it is completed. Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Tubbo: Yes, I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the fact that this statement will be recorded and transcribed?

Tubbo: Yes, I do.

Dream: And do you choose then to give a statement?

Tubbo: I choose to give a statement.

Dream: At this time, I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

George: Do you, Tubbo, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Tubbo: I solemnly affirm that I will tell the truth.

George: Thank you, Tubbo.

Dream: Alright Tubbo, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder earlier today, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Tubbo: 4:20?

Dream: [Whispered] Not this again.

Tubbo: Seriously though, he died at 4:20? God, that’s unfortunate, especially when we’re trying to take this seriously. I suppose Wilbur would’ve found it funny, though.

Dream: [Normal Voice] I’m sure you can mention it at his funeral.

George: _Dream._

Dream: Sorry, sorry, too much. Can you walk us through the events that led to the discovery of Wilbur’s body, from your perspective please?

Tubbo: Well, after we finished up with the revolution, we decided to make Tommy president, but he handed it off to Wilbur because he wanted to focus on getting his discs, and Wilbur handed it off to me because he said he agreed with Techno’s ideals that government would be illogical in our situation. Although, I imagine now he just needed to get away from everyone to set off the TNT.

Dream: Please don’t speculate or jump ahead.

Tubbo: Right, sorry. Well, I accepted the presidency, and made Tommy my Vice.

Dream: Do you remember who was at your inauguration?

Tubbo: God, loads of people. Wilbur walked off right after giving me the presidency, but I saw Tommy, Techno, Thunder- Why do so many people on this server have names that begin with T?

Dream: Don’t lose focus, Tubbo.

Tubbo: Sorry, my bad. Well, there was also Niki, Fundy, Quackity, and I think Punz and Ponk too. I admit, I don’t remember everyone.

Dream: That’s alright. What happened after you created your cabinet with Tommy?

Tubbo: Well, I mean, Techno killed me, since he was angry about us creating another government. I respawned, so I started heading back to the plaza. As I was walking, I saw everything blow up from Wilbur’s TNT.

Dream: What happened after you witnessed the explosion?

Tubbo: I was already walking fast, but I started running back to L’Manburg. I tried to ask what had just happened, but everyone was as lost as I was. Tommy found me and got me some supplies, and then Techno started yelling out some story to the server before spawning two Withers.

Dream: Back up a little. What story did Techno tell?

Tubbo: Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what it was about. He said something about a guy called Theseus, though. Told Tommy he had to die like a hero before setting off the Withers, too.

Dream: I assume everyone started fighting back against the Withers after he spawned them?  
Tubbo: Yes, we did.

Dream: Who did you see fighting?

Tubbo: Well, it’s definitely harder to give names now, sort of harder to remember names when you were under great stress. I think all the people I mentioned before were there, and HBomb and Eret were there too. Punz and Ponk were fighting with Techno, though.

Dream: What happened after you guys defeated the Withers?

Tubbo: Techno fled and kind of became a full-fledged anarchist, and basically all of the server met up at what was left of the plaza. We were trying to see where everyone was when the TNT was set off, and Quackity told us all he had been thrown off the plaza by the explosion. Tommy and him went to check out the podium after that, although they headed back right after they got there.

Dream: What happened when they came back?

Tubbo: Quackity looked freaked out, and Tommy looked like he was in shock. Quackity was behind Tommy, holding onto his shoulders while they walked. I think he was trying to keep him steady, since Tommy ended up falling to the floor. 

Dream: He fell?

Tubbo: Not falling like he tripped, but kind of like he lost the energy to walk and just fell onto his knees. Philza and Niki rushed forward, tried to get him to try and stand up, but it was like he didn’t hear them. He looked at me, so I thought he wanted my help.

Dream: What did you do, thinking that?

Tubbo: I went forward and helped him up, told everyone I was taking us to our bench before heading off. When we were walking- he didn’t look up from the floor the entire time. He just went back to staring at the floor after I helped him up.

Dream: Do you know what made him shocked?  
Tubbo: I’m getting there. I sat us down on the bench, and we just sat there in silence. I didn’t know how to ask him what had happened, so I sort of just waited for him to open up.

Dream: Did he?

Tubbo: Eventually. When the sun started setting, he looked back to me again. He said- he said that Wilbur died, that he had seen his body in the Button Room. Then he just turned back to watch the sunset.

Dream: Did he talk to you again after that?

Tubbo: No, we just sat there until you came to take him for his interview.

Dream: Alright, thank you, Tubbo. You can leave now.

Tubbo: Thanks Dream, thanks George. See you around.

[Tubbo gets up and walks out, leaving George’s house.]

Dream: I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found, and our initial questioning of Tubbo… Underscore has just ended. The time is approximately 9:05 P.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any questions from tubbo's interview you want to be addressed in the fic, make sure to comment them!


	5. Quackity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Monday, November 16th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed L’Manburg Sexytary of State (LSS) Quackity regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place at George’s house.
> 
> The following is a transcript of Quackity’s initial statement.

Dream: Okay, today is Monday, November the 16th, 2020. Time is 9:26 P.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N, here to interview our witness.

George: I am Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D, here to record and transcribe the interview.

Dream: Being interviewed now is Quackity. Can you spell your first name for us?

Quackity: Q-U-A-C-K-I-T-Y.

Dream: And can you spell your last name?

Quackity: My gamertag is only one word, I don’t see how I could make a last name from it.

Dream: Just choose a random game to make your last name or something.

Quackity: Okay, uh, Habbo? H-A-B-B-O.

Dream: And do you have a middle name?

Quackity: Yes, Sexy.

George: Quackity, please don’t.

Quackity: You’re just upset because you realized you shouldn’t have chosen Ninja over me.

George: I was tricked into marrying him!

Dream: Guys, please not now.

Quackity: Right, sorry, my bad. Well, George’s bad for choosing Ninja, but also my bad.

Dream: [Whispered] Oh my God. [Normal Voice] I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Quackity: Understood.

Dream: We are at George’s house in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence.

Quackity: When did you make a criminal code? Do we even have a jail?

Dream: [Whispered] Every single time. It’s the same question every single time.

George: [Whispered] I mean, I would’ve expected us to have a jail if I were getting interviewed.

Dream: [Normal Voice] We’re getting a jail ready just in case. Finally, you must understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so. Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Quackity: I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Quackity: Going to our nonexistent jail?

Dream: I really hate this server sometimes.

George: Again, Dream, don’t let yourself get irritated.

Dream: Why has everyone asked if we have a jail or not? What is so shocking about the prospect of us having a jail that everyone we interviewed has asked us about it?

Quackity: I mean, you don’t have one, so we aren’t wrong to be shocked.

Dream: We’re getting off-track with this. Making a false statement means you risk the possibility of being jailed in it once it is completed. Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Quackity: If there’s no jail to send the criminal to, then no, I don’t really understand.

Dream: How much fucking time does everyone think it would take for us to build a jail?

George: Dream, calm down. We’re planning on making the jail soon, Quackity, and we assume we’ll finish building it before we catch the murderer. In that case, they’ll be taken to the jail.

Quackity: Alright then, I understand the consequences.

Dream: Do you understand the fact that this statement will be recorded and transcribed?

Quackity: I understand.

Dream: And do you choose then to give a statement?

Quackity: I choose to give a statement.

Dream: At this time, I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

George: Do you, Quackity, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Quackity: I solemnly affirm that I will tell the truth.

George: Thank you, Quackity.

Dream: So, Quackity, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder earlier today, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Quackity: [Stifled Laughter]

Dream: Oh my fucking God.

Quackity: [Gravely Voice] Dream, I’ve been addicted to smoking ever since I watched that shitty Mexican soap opera episode on it. You know shit like that excites me.

George: Dream, please don’t get agitated, and Quackity, please don’t be silly.

Quackity: [Normal Voice] Anything for you, George.

George: Please don’t be flirtatious either.

Dream: Please walk us through the events of today that led to our involvement in the case, starting off with Tubbo’s speech. Who do you recall was there?

Quackity: Tommy and Tubbo, obviously, and Wilbur, but he walked off after handing the presidency off to Tubbo. Eret, Niki, and Fundy were there as well. I also saw Karl, Sapnap, Awesamdude, and you, but I assume you didn’t need me to tell you that last person.

Dream: You didn’t.

Quackity: Just in case you forgot.

Dream: Just in case I forgot I was there?

Quackity: Sometimes stress makes you forget important things.

Dream: Whatever. Was that all the people there?

Quackity: No, but that’s who I remember.

Dream: Alright. What happened after Tubbo’s speech?   
Quackity: Well, he made Tommy his Vice President, and then Technoblade killed Tubbo right after. He was angry about us putting another government in place. We all got sidetracked from fighting him, though, since Wilbur had blown everything up after that. I was- I was by the podium when he set it off, and the TNT- the TNT-

George: Quackity, are you okay?

Quackity: I’m fine, it’s just- God, I was so fucking close to the TNT when it went off.

George: Do you need us to slow down?

Dream: [Whispered] Let’s just get this interview done with George, what’s the point of slowing down?

George: [Whispered] You want him to have a fucking panic attack? Give him some time.

Quackity: Sorry, I’m just- I’m good now. The TNT threw me up into the air, but I landed in a lake. I got out, and I tried to find where everyone was.

Dream: [Normal Voice] Where was everyone? Who did you see?

Quackity: Everyone was kinda scattered around L’Manburg. So everyone’s trying to reconvene in the center, but Techno makes a speech about being betrayed before setting the Withers on us.

Dream: Who’s us?

Quackity: I mean, basically the entire server, except George since he was building his house at the worst time possible. It was Techno, you, and the Badlands against everyone else after he spawned the Withers, but you switched over for some reason. Why did you do that, anyways?

Dream: Got bored.

George: He realized the Withers would do more harm than good so it was better to stop them.

Dream: [Whispered] Why would you tell him that?

George: [Whispered] Would you rather be remembered as a total jackass?

Quackity: I mean, thank you for that information, but I was actually asking George why he built his house today during the war.

George: [Normal Voice] I forgot the war was today, alright? I got excited to build and so I forgot.

Quackity: Were you building a house during the elections? Because you forgot to show up to those too.   
Dream: [Normal Voice] We’re getting off-track. So everyone fights against the Withers, and L’Manburg wins. What happens then?

Quackity: All of L’Manburg went back to the center pavilion. We all wanted to know how everyone else had witnessed the explosion. I told them I was by the podium when it happened, and since Tommy and I had been to the Button Room before and it was right under the podium, I guess we both just kind of wanted to see what was left.

George: I’m sorry, how long has this Button Room been around?

Quackity: It’s been around from at least since the time I joined Pogtopia. Anyways, we were heading back to the podium, and I was walking ahead of Tommy. I think we were just talking and fucking around, but I honestly can’t remember.

Dream: Why can’t you remember?

Quackity: When we- when we got to the podium, I saw that the Button Room had been exposed by the TNT, since it blew away the land covering it up. There was a bunch of debris near the entrance, though, so I couldn’t see inside from where we were standing. I saw- I saw a glint of light reflected on something inside, though, and I wanted to know- I wanted to know what it was.

George: Quackity, you alright?

Dream: Well, what was it?

George: Give him  _ time, _ Dream.

Quackity: [Strained Voice] It was a sword.

Dream: A sword?

Quackity: Wilbur- he was lying on his back. His coat- it used to be like a beige, but it looked like it was red. I thought for a second it was from the sun.

George: Quackity, you can slow down-

Quackity: It wasn’t- it wasn’t from the sun. It was from the sword. He was stabbed.

George: Quackity-

Quackity: He was fucking stabbed. How much fucking blood was there from the wound that it recolored basically his entire coat?

Dream: How do you know he was stabbed?

Quackity: How do I know?  _ How do I fucking know? _ Because the sword was in his fucking chest, you green dumbass.

[Quackity gets up and walks out, leaving George’s house.]

Dream: I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found-

George: I’m gonna check on him, make sure he gets home safe. We’ll finish the rest of the interviews tomorrow.

[George hands the recorder to Dream before getting up and walking out, leaving his house.]

Dream: Alright then, I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken, and my and Detective George N. Found’s initial questioning of Quackity Habbo has just ended. The time is approximately 9:58 P.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🦀 quackity is traumatized 🦀  
> if there's any questions you have from his interview that you want to see addressed, make sure you comment them!


	6. Nihachu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Tuesday, November 17th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed Nihachu regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place at Niki’s Bakery.
> 
> The following is a transcript of Nihachu’s initial statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note; becker is not actually niki’s last name!!!!!! i looked up common german names and saw that the last name becker meant someone was a baker, so i just decided to use it. niki has never shared her real last name.

Dream: Today is Tuesday, November the 17th, 2020. Time is 10:10 A.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N, here to interview our witness.

George: I am Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D, here to record and transcribe the interview.

Dream: Our witness is Nihachu. Can you spell your first name for us?

Nihachu: N-I-H-A-C-H-U, but I go by Niki. N-I-K-I.

Dream: And can you spell your last name?

Nihachu: Becker. B-E-C-K-E-R.

Dream: And do you have a middle name?

Nihachu: No, I don’t.

Dream: I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Nihachu: I understand.

Dream: We are at Niki’s Bakery in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement-

Nihachu: It’s in L’Manburg.

Dream: What is?

Nihachu: The bakery. It’s in L’Manburg.

Dream: Until I recognize L’Manburg as its own country, it’s part of the Greater Dream SMP.

Nihachu: And until you recognize it, I won’t let you interview me.

George: [Whispered] Dream, just do it. Everyone already thinks L’Manburg is its own country anyways.

Dream: [Whispered] I’m not going to recognize it just to make her happy.

George: What happened to wanting fast interviews?

Dream: You… got me there. But still, I’m not-

George: [Normal Voice] We are at Niki’s Bakery in L’Manburg. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence.

Nihachu: Prosecuted? You’ll take us to jail?

Dream: [Normal Voice] Yes, when we make one.

Nihachu: You didn’t even make a jail yet?

Dream: [Forced] No, we have not made a jail yet. [Normal Voice] Finally, you must understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so. Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Nihachu: I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Nihachu: Are there really criminal consequences if you haven’t completed the jail yet? Or even started making it?

Dream: There will be criminal consequences, alright? Even without a jail, there’s still going to be criminal consequences.

George: Don’t get agitated, Dream-

Dream: If everyone keeps on asking why we don’t have a jail, I’m going to let myself be as agitated as I want.

Nihachu: Sorry, I didn’t mean to frustrate you.

Dream: Thank you for apologizing. Making a false statement means you risk the possibility of being jailed once the jail is built. Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Nihachu: I understand.

Dream: And do you choose then to give a statement?

Nihachu: I choose to give a statement.

Dream: At this time, I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

George: Do you, Niki, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Nihachu: I promise that I will tell the truth.

George: Thank you, Niki.

Dream: So, Nihachu, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder yesterday, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Nihachu: [Light Laugh] 4:20? Wilbur would’ve loved that.

Dream: [Forced] I’m sure he would’ve. [Normal Voice] What we’d like for you to do is walk us through your day yesterday, starting at Tubbo’s speech and ending with George and I being brought in to investigate. Who do you remember was there?

Nihachu: I remember seeing Antfrost, Techno, Fundy, Eret, and Quackity in the audience with me. I can’t remember if Tommy was standing on the podium or sitting in the audience, but I know he was there too.

Dream: Can you walk us through Tubbo’s speech?

Nihachu: Like, tell you what he said?

Dream: Poorly phrased question, my bad. Just start describing the events of the day, beginning with his speech.

Nihachu: Well, Tubbo made a speech talking about a new beginning for L’Manburg, and after he finished it, he asked Tommy to be his Vice President. Techno was there, like I mentioned, and he got angry that Tubbo had accepted the presidency and had already started making a new cabinet. So he-

George: Are you alright, Niki?

Nihachu: I’m fine. He killed Tubbo. He killed Tubbo  _ again. _ God, how do you live with yourself, knowing you killed the same person twice, knowing you killed the same  _ child _ twice?

Dream: Please just focus on describing the events of yesterday.

Nihachu: Sorry. So he killed Tubbo, although it wasn’t canon, thank God. He would’ve lost his last life if it was.

Dream: You’re still going off-track, Nihachu.

George: [Whispered] She had to watch her friend die twice, Dream. I think you can give her some time to process it.

Nihachu: Sorry again. He killed Tubbo, but before we could really start fighting him, Wilbur set off the TNT under the podium’s stage. I was by the graves, close to the Manberg flag.

Dream: What happened after the TNT blew up?

Nihachu: We tried to gather in the center pavilion, but Techno called out to us, kind of demanding our attention? And then he told us the story of Theseus before setting the Withers on us. We fought the Withers and won, so Techno ran away.

Dream: Can you define what you mean by “we”?

Nihachu: I’m pretty sure most of the server was there at the fight, except George and Wilbur. Maybe some others, but those are the only two I recall not being there.

Dream: So what happened after Technoblade left?

Nihachu: We all gathered at the center to get a sense of the situation. Everyone was looking to kind of go off and explore, and Tommy and Quackity decided to go to the Button Room. They came back right after, though. Quackity was trying to lead Tommy away from the Button Room, and they both looked like they had seen something shocking. I was going to ask if something had happened, but Tommy ended up falling to the floor. Quackity and I tried to get him to stand up, and Philza was trying to get his attention, but he just wouldn’t get up. He looked over at Tubbo, so Tubbo helped him up and said he was going to take them to their bench.

Dream: What happened after that?

Nihachu: Philza- he asked Quackity what happened, and he started breathing heavy, like he was going to have a panic attack. He said that he had seen- that he had seen Wilbur in the Button Room, and he wasn’t sure if he was dead. At that point, I rushed to the Button Room, and you ended up coming in right after, but I’m not sure who called you in. We got to the Button Room, and then- well, then we found Wilbur.

Dream: Thank you, Nihachu. The autopsy report describes what happened after we found him, so you don’t have to talk about it. We can finish the interview now, unless there’s anything you think would be important?

Nihachu: Uh, no, I don’t have anything else to add.

Dream: Alright, well, I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found, and our initial questioning of Nihachu “Niki” Becker has just ended. The time is approximately 10:37 A.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> niki is literally so overlooked in the dream smp and i'm tired of it  
> any questions from niki's interview that you want to see be addressed in the fic? make sure to comment them!


	7. Technoblade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Tuesday, November 17th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed Technoblade regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place at the Community House.
> 
> The following is a transcript of Technoblade’s initial statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea how to write techno please forgive me

Dream: Today is Tuesday, November the 17th, 2020. Time is 12:00 P.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N, here to interview our witness.

George: I am Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D, here to record and transcribe the interview.

Dream: Our witness is Technoblade. Can you spell your first name for us?

Technoblade: T-E-C-H-N-O-B-L-A-D-E, but I go by Techno for short. T-E-C-H-N-O.

Dream: And can you spell your last name?

Technoblade: I… don’t have one.

Dream: Could you make one for the sake of the interview?

Technoblade: Would it benefit you?

Dream: Yes, it would.

Technoblade: Then no, I won’t make one.

Dream: You know what, you not giving a last name might actually help.

Technoblade: Oh well, that’s great.

Dream: [Sigh] We’re trying to solve your brother’s murder, Technoblade.

Technoblade: What, the brother who betrayed me by handing off his presidency to allow a new government replace the one I helped him overthrow? How much do you really think I cared about him?

George: [Whispered] Dream, I don’t think Techno wants to talk to us. Let’s go talk to someone who actually wants to help.

Technoblade: M-A-J-O-R.

Dream: What?

Technoblade: My quote enquote “last name”. Major, spelt M-A-J-O-R.

Dream: I thought you didn’t care about Wilbur.

Technoblade: Maybe I did. Just a little.

Dream: Do you have a middle name?

Technoblade: Nope.

Dream: I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Technoblade: I understand.

Dream: We are at the Community House in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence.

Technoblade: Oh no, I’ll be taken to jail if I lie. Where would you even imprison me, L’Manburg? Everything was blown up. Come to think of it, is there a jail anywhere on this server?

George: Please don’t be sarcastic during the interview, Techno. And no, there isn’t one, but we’re planning on making one soon.

Technoblade: What happens if you find the killer before you build the jail?

Dream: Then they get to run around on a killing spree until we finish.

George: Please don’t be sarcastic during the interview, Dream.

Dream: [Whispered] I’ve got to cope with everyone asking the same question somehow. [Normal Voice] Finally, you must understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so. Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Technoblade: I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Technoblade: Yes, running around on the server and getting to kill people until the jail is finished.

Dream: Don’t be sarcastic, Technoblade.

George: I mean, he’s really not wrong. That really is what could happen if we haven’t finished the jail.

Technoblade: Thank you for seeing reason, George.

Dream: [Whispered] This is insufferable. [Normal Voice] Making a false statement means you risk the possibility of being jailed once the jail is built. Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Technoblade: I understand.

Dream: And do you choose then to give a statement?

Technoblade: Yeah, yeah, I choose to give a statement.

Dream: At this time, I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

George: Do you, Technoblade, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Technoblade: I promise.

George: Thank you, Techno.

Dream: Alright Techno, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder yesterday, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Technoblade: 4-

Dream: The time is an approximation, alright? It’s an approximation.

Technoblade: You couldn’t have rounded up or down the approximation by five minutes?

Dream: It’s the time we got down in the official report, I have to use it.

George: Don’t let him get on your nerves, Dream.

Dream: [Whispered] You try to interview these guys, then. 

George: So, uh, Technoblade, how was the 16th of November for you?

Technoblade: Un-fucking-believable.

Dream: [Normal Voice] How so?

Technoblade: After contributing a massive part to the preparedness of a revolution to overthrow a corrupt government, I had to sit through two teenagers immediately creating a new government in its place. And of course, everyone turned on me.

George: Didn’t you kill Tubbo right after he became president?

Technoblade: I don’t like sharing the stage. If I kept Tubbo alive, he would’ve tried to convince me that he would create a better government. Needed a spark to get everyone’s attention.

Dream: What happened after that?

Technoblade: You were there, you tell me.

Dream: I’m not going to be coerced into interviewing myself.

Technoblade: What if I forgot everything from the day?

Dream: Then we wouldn’t bother interviewing you.

Technoblade: It seems I’ve forgotten everything from the day.

Dream: Right after I told you that we wouldn’t continue to interview you if you forgot everything?   
Technoblade: Yes.

Dream: That’s surely convenient.

George: Sorry, I have a question.

Technoblade: I can’t guarantee I’ll remember what you’re asking me about.

George: Who’s Theseus? Both Tubbo and Niki said you told a story about him.

Technoblade: [Grunt] His city-state, Athens, was under threat by the Minotaur, so Theseus went into the Labyrinth and slayed him, effectively saving Athens. You know what they did to him, George?

George: Uh, no? What did they do?

Technoblade: They exiled him.

George: What? What for?

Technoblade: Awhile after he slayed the Minotaur, he started a war against the Amazons and Spartans. It had been so long since he had done good for Athens, all they could remember was the bad. He died in exile, in disgrace. His people only forgave him after his death.

George: Oh. Ouch.

Dream: Alright, you had your storytime. Can you please describe the 16th of November Technoblade, in your perspective?

Technoblade: I’ve said all I want to say. You may be investigating Wilbur’s death, but yesterday, I saw Theseus die.

[Technoblade walks out, leaving the Community House.]

George: You know, for Techno being a key witness, I have to say that interview was not very helpful.

Dream: He’s still a key witness, unfortunately. [Sigh] Alright, I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found, and our initial questioning of Technoblade "Techno" Major has just ended. The time is approximately 12:24 P.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any questions from techno's fic that you want to see be addressed later? comment them!  
> also please comment advice on how to write techno


	8. Fundy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Tuesday, November 17th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed Fundy regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place at the Community House.
> 
> The following is a transcript of Fundy’s initial statement.

Dream: Today is Tuesday, November the 17th, 2020. Time is 1:20 P.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N, here to interview our witness.

George: I am Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D, here to record and transcribe the interview.

Dream: Here being interviewed is Fundy. Can you spell your first name for us?

Fundy: F-U-N-D-Y.

Dream: And can you spell your last name?

Fundy: I don’t have one, sorry.

Dream: Can you just make a random one, please?

Fundy: What can I make it?

Dream: Anything, really.

Fundy: Alright then, Taken. T-A-K-E-N.

Dream: Well, okay, maybe not anything.

Fundy: What- why can’t I make my last name Taken?

Dream: Because that’s my last name!

Fundy: We’re literally engaged!

George: Let’s… just move on.

Fundy: Like how Dream is going to move on from me with you?

Dream: We’ll talk about this at home, alright Fundy?

Fundy: What home? My home got blown to bits yesterday. But you obviously wouldn’t know, because you didn’t try to find me that night. Where were you last night, anyway?

George: Guys, please don’t argue during the interview.

Dream: Can we talk about this after the interview, babe? Please?

Fundy: Fine.

Dream: So, do you have a middle name?

Fundy: No.

Dream: I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Fundy: Yeah, yeah, I understand.

Dream: We are at the Community House in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence.

Fundy: If I’m prosecuted, where would I even be taken, the Community House?

George: Please don’t be sarcastic during the interview, Fundy.

Fundy: I mean, I’m being both sarcastic and serious. Where are you going to take any criminals you find?

Dream: We’re going to make a jail soon to imprison people in.

Fundy: You formed a police department and didn’t decide to make a jail immediately?

Dream: No, alright? No. We’ll make it after we finish all the interviews.

Fundy: Wow, you’re just as a good as a police officer as you are a fiancé.

George: Guys, please don’t let your personal relationship affect the interview.

Dream: Oh, I’m the bad fiancé? You keep on pretending you’re on this whole blinded by love spiel just so you can ignore me!

George: Don’t get irritated, Dream.

Dream: [Whispered] I‘m fucking trying not to. [Normal Voice] So, you must understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so.

Fundy: Are we really going to talk after the interview?

Dream: Yes, alright babe? Yes. We’ll talk after the interview.

Fundy: Okay, good.

Dream: Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Fundy: Yeah, sure.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Fundy: Oh no, I’ll go to jail in our totally completed jail.

George: Please don’t be sarcastic, Fundy.

Fundy: You know what, saying “completed” implies the jail is being built. It would be more fitting to mock the jail by implying it even exists.

George: When it’s completed, anyone who’s prosecuted will be taken there.

Dream: Fundy, do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Fundy: Yes, I understand.

Dream: Making a false statement means you risk the possibility of being jailed once the jail is built. Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?   
Fundy: I understand.

Dream: And do you choose then to give a statement?

Fundy: Yeah, whatever, I choose to give a statement.

Dream: At this time, I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

George: Do you, Fundy, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Fundy: I promise I’ll tell the truth.

George: Thank you, Fundy.

Dream: Fundy, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder yesterday, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Fundy: [Laughter] 4:20?

Dream: Why does everyone always- yes, he died at 4:20.

Fundy: God, that’s a fitting end for him. Trying to be serious, but only looking like a joke.

Dream: Please, let’s just focus on transcribing the events of yesterday, Fundy. Can you start describing the day from Tubbo’s speech? Maybe you can list who was there?

Fundy: There was Niki, Techno, Eret, HBomb, Thunder, and Tommy. I can’t remember everyone, though. Tubbo finished his speech, and Techno killed him right after since he was mad at us for putting another government in place. Then, of course, Wilbur went and blew everything up.

Dream: What do you mean by “everything”?

Fundy: L’Manburg. Our home.  _ My _ home. God, why would he blow it all up?

Dream: Please don’t lose focus, Fundy.

George: [Whispered] Dream, he lost his home in the explosion, he’s allowed to be upset. You know you can comfort him, right?

Dream: [Whispered] How on Earth do I do that?

George: Do whatever you did that made him fall in love with you, I don’t know!

Dream: [Normal Voice] Uh, yeah, it sucks that L’Manburg’s gone, but at least I don’t think you’re a furry

George: [Normal Voice] You credit you not calling him a furry for the reason he fell in love with you?

Fundy: You gotta take what you can get when you’re a fox hybrid.

George: What, so if I told you I don’t think you’re a furry, you would fall in love with me too?   
Fundy: Maybe I would. I know Dream would love it if I fell in love with you, then he’d have an excuse to bring you along with us.

Dream: Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened.

George: [Mumbled] He better not think I’m transcribing this part alone.

Dream: What happened after Wilbur blew everything up, Fundy?

Fundy: Everyone was sort of scrambling to get together, make sure that everyone was alright. I think some people were giving out armor in case there were more explosions, and food in case you got hurt during them.

Dream: Then what?

Fundy: Then Techno set the Withers on us all.

Dream: Who do you remember being there?

Fundy: Honestly? I don’t really think I can list any specific people, but I assume all of the server were there. 

Dream: That’s alright. So, what-

Fundy: Actually, I do remember someone.

Dream: Who?

Fundy:  _ You, _ fighting against L’Manburg.

Dream: I- look, at least I switched over during the fight.

Fundy: Not because you cared about L’Manburg, because you cared about the Withers not destroying the Greater Dream SMP.

Dream: I don’t just care about the Greater Dream SMP, alright? I care about you too!

Fundy:  _ This isn’t about me! _ This isn’t about you caring or not caring for me! This is about L’Manburg! You never cared about L’Manburg! You don’t have to recognize it as independent, but you could’ve stopped it from being destroyed!

Dream: What could I have done, huh? What could I have done?

Fundy: How about what you could have  _ not _ have done? You could have  _ not _ given Wilbur that TNT. You could have  _ not _ given Techno those Wither skulls.

Dream: Look, babe-

Fundy: You know what, I’m too fucking frustrated right now. I’m done giving this interview. You better come talk to me right after this.

[Fundy walks out, leaving the Community House.]

Dream: That fucking sucked.

George: We can interview Philza later today, you should go talk to Fundy.

Dream: God, how did I get stuck in this mess?

George: Sometimes, it’s safer to call someone a furry and move on.

Dream: [Light Chuckle] Yeah. Well then, I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found, and our initial questioning of Fundy- of Fundy Taken has just ended. The time is approximately 1:57 P.M. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had so much fun writing this chapter it's a shame fundy and dream were fighting literally the whole time during it  
> any questions from fundy's interview that you want to see be addressed later? make sure to comment them!


	9. Philza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Tuesday, November 17th, 2020, SA Dream W. Taken interviewed Philza regarding the November 16th Murder of Wilbur Soot. Det. George N. Found was also present. The interview took place at the Community House.
> 
> The following is a transcript of Philza’s initial statement.

Dream: Today is Tuesday, November the 17th, 2020. Time is 3:02 P.M. I am Special Agent Dream W. Taken, T-A-K-E-N, here to interview our witness.

George: I am Detective Found, F-O-U-N-D, here to record and transcribe the interview.

Dream: Being interviewed is Philza. Can you spell your first name for us?

Philza: I mean, I can try, but it might be hard. My first name's got like, numbers in it. Are you sure you don’t just want the spelling of my pronunciation?

Dream: We’d prefer the actual spelling.

George:  _ You _ would prefer it. You wouldn’t if you had to transcribe it.

Dream: Fine, just spell it like it’s pronounced then.

Philza: P-H-I-L-Z-A, but I call myself Phil for short sometimes. P-H-I-L.

Dream: And can you spell your last name?

Philza: M-I-N-E-C-R-A-F-T.

Dream: Do you have a middle name?

Philza: No, I don’t.

Dream: I ask that you acknowledged that this interview is being recorded and that you consent to such a recording being made. Is that understood?

Philza: I understand.

Dream: We are at the Community House in the Greater Dream SMP. This statement will be taken under oath and will be recorded. You must understand that it is a criminal offense under Sections 139 and 140 under the criminal code to obstruct justice or to commit public mischief to make a false statement to police during an investigation. You must further understand that you may be a witness at a trial concerning any events described in your statement. If at time you recant your statement or claim it to be false, it can and will be used at that trial, and you may be liable to prosecution under Section 177 under the criminal code for fabricating evidence.

Philza: Oh wow, this place is actually organized. I didn’t even know you had a jail.

Dream: We… don’t.

Philza: So you can prosecute someone, but there’s no jail to send them to?

Dream: [Forced] Yes.

George: We’re planning on making one once we finish the initial interviews, so if someone ends up being prosecuted, there’ll be a jail to send them to by then.   
Philza: O-kay?

Dream: You must also understand that you are not obligated to give this statement, and if any person says any words or performs any acts to pressure you, you are to disregard those words or acts and only give a statement if you freely choose to do so. Do you understand your right to choose whether or not to make a statement?

Philza: I understand.

Dream: Do you understand the criminal consequences of making a false statement?

Philza: Hypothetical question, but if I lied right now and you found out, what would happen?

George: I guess we would end the interview once we realized you lied, so we would go build the jail.

Philza: So you would find me guilty of fabricating evidence, leave me with my now-criminal status, build the jail, and come back trusting I would be waiting for you guys?

Dream: Why the fuck does everyone always have to give us a hard time when we ask them if they understand the criminal consequences?

George: Because there really are no criminal consequences, at least not yet.

Philza: Look, I understand that I would be taken to the jail eventually if I lied, let’s just move on.

Dream: Do you choose then to give a statement, then?

Phiza: Yes, I choose to give a statement.

Dream: At this time, I ask for Detective Found to administer the oath.

George: Do you, Philza, solemnly affirm that in this statement, you shall tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Philza: I promise.

George: Thank you, Philza.

Dream: Alright Philza, we’re here in respect of Wilbur Soot’s murder yesterday, 16th of November, 2020, at approximately 4:20 P.M, by the L’Manburg Plaza.

Phiza: He- he died at 4:20?

Dream: [Forced] Approximately.

Philza: [Stifled Laughter] Good to know.

Dream: We’d like you to walk us through yesterday, from you joining the server to the police being brought in.

Philza: I mean, I may have to start a little earlier than that to explain why I came onto the server. Wilbur had been sending me letters ever since he arrived on the SMP, and they got increasingly worrying over time. And then Tommy- God, Tommy.

Dream: What about Tommy?

Philza: Tommy sent me a letter, begging me to come get him so he could leave the server. Wilbur- he was losing it, and it was scaring Tommy, but he wouldn’t let Tommy leave. I got in contact with you to get on the server, but while I was waiting to get whitelisted, he sent me another letter. His last letter- it was just so ominous. I knew he had gotten TNT, but he confirmed that he was going to blow L’Manburg up with it in the letter. 

Dream: So you were worried when you arrived on the server?

Philza: God, more than anything. I- I spawned in a room with Wilbur, it was underground. I asked him what he was doing, I tried to stop him. He- he had gone insane. L’Manburg turned him insane. It was like he was just rambling.

Dream: Do you remember anything he said?

Philza: He said- he said it was never meant to be. Then he pressed a button on the wall, and he blew up L’Manburg.

Dream: What happened after that?

Philza: Well, while everything was exploding, the TNT ended up breaking through one of the walls, so I was able to get out. I wrote back to Tommy before I came on the server, telling him I was coming, but I never got a response. I wasn’t sure if Wilbur wasn’t letting him respond or just didn’t give him the letter, so I had to let him know I was there.

Dream: And you left Wilbur alone?

Philza: Yes, I did.

Dream: What happened after that?

Philza: Everyone looked like they were listening to Techno talk, so I started walking towards them.

Dream: What do you mean by “everyone”? Could you identify anyone there?

Philza: I know there were two groups of people, but I couldn’t identify anyone since each group was huddled close to their members, and of course, I had never met them. Besides Techno, I finally saw Tommy when he started talking back to Techno.

Dream: What did Tommy say?

Philza: Something about being a hero or not?

Dream: What happened then?

Philza: Techno spawned the Withers. I didn’t have anything on me, so I went and tried to find some armor before joining.

Dream: Did you find any?

Philza: Yeah, there was some armor on the Plaza, although I’m not sure if it was discarded or left behind. I still took it, at any rate, and went to help fight the Withers, although by that point, everyone seemed to have a good handle on it.

Dream: What happened after you all defeated the Withers?

Philza: I was finally able to talk to Tommy. He told me that he had been doing alright since I last saw him, that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave anymore, but that he still wanted me to stay. Everyone was heading back to what used to be the center of L’Manburg, and he said he’d introduce me to everyone there.

Dream: Did you guys end up going to the center pavilion together?

Philza: Yeah. Tommy introduced everyone to me, and then they went right back to talking. They were trying to figure out where everyone was during the explosion. Quackity, the other winged hybrid, he said he was by the podium when it happened. Tommy said something like, “Right by the Button Room?” but he wasn’t actually looking for an answer, it was like he was shocked that Quackity was so close by to where the TNT was planted when it was set off.

Dream: Then what?

Philza: Tommy and Quackity ended up going back to the Button Room, and I realized that the Button Room was the room where Wilbur and I had been. I started wondering where he was, although I- I didn’t have to wonder very long.

Dream: What do you mean? Can you elaborate on that?

Philza: Quackity and Tommy- they came back before even entering the Button Room. Tommy- God, Tommy looked fucking frozen, like he had realized something he didn’t want to believe. He sort of fell to the floor, like he didn’t have the energy to walk anymore. Niki and I tried to get him up, but he just wanted Tubbo, I think. The only time he looked up to the floor was to look at him. So Tubbo ended up helping Tommy up, and he said he was going to take Tommy to their bench before they left, whatever that means. 

Dream: Then what happened?

Philza: I asked Quackity what had happened, and he said- he said Wilbur was still in the Button Room, that it looked like he was dead.

Dream: What did you do after that?

Philza: Honestly, I just went into shock from that. It was like I was swimming, and all noise was muffled. I saw Niki run to the Button Room, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I know that someone called you in, though, the fox hybrid. Fundy, right? Everyone was telling him you would arrive quicker if he called you.

Dream: I- yes, Fundy ended up calling me in, although we never got him to confirm it during the interview. We uh, got cut short.

George: It shouldn’t be hard for us to confirm it at our next interview.

Dream: Eh, Fundy and I… aren’t on speaking terms right now.

George: Oh.

Philza: Oh? What happened?

Dream: It’s irrelevant to the interview. What happened after you heard Fundy call me in?

Philza: You appeared in the blink of an eye, so I suppose everyone was right when they said Fundy would get you there the quickest. I suppose that’s the moment you and George got brought into the case.

Dream: Yep, it is. Well, thank you Philza, you can leave now.

Philza: Alright, take care, you guys.

[Philza walks out, leaving the Community House.]

Dream: Well, that’s all the key witnesses.

George: Sorry about you and Fundy.

Dream: It’s alright. It was going to happen anyways, you know? We were going to leave each other eventually. I’m just glad it didn’t happen at the altar.

George: It still must hurt that you two broke up, though.

Dream: Yeah, a little. But life goes on. [Sigh] Well, I’m Special Agent Dream W. Taken with Detective George N. Found, and our initial questioning of Philza "Phil" Minecraft has just ended. The time is approximately 3:37 P.M. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> protective philza is a wonderful trope don't mind if i write it in for him and tommy  
> that's the end of all of the initial interviews! if there's a question you have from philza's interview, make sure to comment it! i'll be posting some more chapters by tomorrow, so stay tuned :0


End file.
